Another new beginning.

Well...stumbling is a part of getting over an addiction. I understand that...I'm usually too stubborn to allow it to grab a hold of me once I've decided to let it go. It really does make it a lot more difficult to quit when your sig other is not quitting. He has been really good by going outside and trying to keep it out of my face. I smell it tho, and I see the butts....at first it disgusted me and the smell raunched me out. Now I'm almost a smoker again...Gotta slap myself out of it, snap to it...get with the game...get healthy! Phew but it's hard. I'll do it though. Those 2 short months that I was without any smokes...it was good. I have to remember that. Keep my chin up, and do what I need to for myself. These things take time sometimes...I'll figure it out.

I suppose another thing that I didn't take into consideration is how wild my mood swings can get. Let's see how we handle them

Ok, it's hard to get passed having just that one smoke a day. I know the smokers out there are probably going "why even bother smoking if you are down to 1?" It actually makes a big difference though. I do also realize that I won't properly heal from smoking if I don't cut out even that last one. I am working on it though. Today I had a talk with Chris and asked him not to smoke in front of me at least for a couple of weeks and he agreed, so that will make it easier. Not that I won't know what he is doing...but out of sight is out of mind. I will just keep finding ways of distracting myself and getting myself healthy again..

So today is another day, and I will continue to fight the battle. I find it is a lot harder when your significant other has stopped quitting with you. This too shall pass though, one way or another!

Things are going really well with Chris so you all know. He brings me home little gifts (things I can use in the garden) whenever he can. He really does all he can to make me feel as good as possible! I hope that I succeed in doing the same for him.

The last couple of days, I have allowed myself 1 smoke each day...things have been a tad stressful around other people who are close to me. Everyone who knows me really well knows how that effects me. That too shall pass. I know in my mind that smoking doesn't actually have ANY calming effects what so ever...it's just a matter of time.